The term «life lessons» it’s named so for a reason. We must have experiences in our lives in order to learn our lessons. And the more we experience, the more lessons and knowledge we accumulate. However, is the quantity of lessons and knowledge our crucial goal? I think not. Many times, the quality of the lessons makes the bigger difference. There are other ways to learn our life lessons, if we recognize them and consciously pursue them. But let’s start from the beginning.
The ways we learn
We learn our life lessons through our own personal experiences but also through the experiences of others. In the «restaurant of life», we sit at our family table. Seated at the next tables are our relatives and acquaintances, while there are many other restaurants in other cities. By observing what others have on their «plate», we can get a «taste» of their own experience and they can also get a «taste» from ours.
There are also common experiences that a family has that work like the «common platters» at the center of the table. Some families have all these experience platters in common, which means that they all work on the same programs, but process it differently. Other families may have only one thing in common or none. Certainly, we learn more from our own experiences, rather than from others. Shared experiences, when they are dramatic, can be equally crucial in the learning process for all family members. And so, the scene of life is set.
There was only one certainty in my life and it was that everything was always up in the air. And where there is lots of air, there’s lots of tension. «Does everything happen to you?» was a common phrase my friends often asked. They even seemed jealous because my life seemed «so interesting» with all these heart-wrenching experiences floating about all the time. Other people’s stressful experiences are of interest to us since we have the luxury of distancing ourselves.
Eventually and as expected, the permanent drama of my life reached the boiling point of no return. After a year of attempting to solve the problem with the help of classical medicine aids and once and for all. The problem wasn’t solved obviously. It had only been contained, which was a huge improvement nonetheless. Despite that, I sensed that was as far as they could help me. It was then that I turned to alternative healing methods to solve my problem.
And so, in 2007 I found myself for the first time in front of a spiritual therapy that cleared the negative energy from this and past lives with a pendulum. I learned this dowsing method and started working feverishly with it, starting with me. I continued to enrich it and kept adding to it all I knew and had been trained since my teenage years. And since I saw what these sessions did for me, I enthusiastically worked with everyone I knew.
After my clearing sessions, the changes in my life were spectacular, according to a comment made by a friend who knew me well. My life began to take a systematic upward trend, a process that took several years of hard work on forgiveness. Not everyone starts at zero. Some people need years to reach that level. Ever since then, I refer to my previous life as «the years I loved pain».
As a teacher of this dowsing method since 2009 and after hundreds of clearings and healings, I have become a part of many people’s healing journey. For this, I feel that I live a blessed life. Many of those people have called to tell me since then, to tell me how much this healing work, has changed their lives in ways they never imagined. One of the ways it changed for me was the way I learned my life lessons.
There are many ways to learn the lessons of life if we acknowledge them and seek them out consciously. We already talked about how we learn through our own experiences and through the experiences of others. In essence, from anything and everyone, including through nature, animals and SPIRIT. We also learn through joy, pain, observation and wisdom, our own and as well as others.
For example, if I wanted to know about love, I could learn through my own experience when I love someone and he loves me back. That’s learning through joy. Joy is a wonderful way to learn our lessons, although it’s far too undervalued in relation to pain. Consider the incredible joys of small gestures through which we’ve learned what love is. A tender glance or caress, a kind word, an act of assistance or support from someone we know or even strangers and so many other examples.
If I wanted to learn about love through pain, I can love someone who is not interested in me, loves me in ways that seem uncaring to me or doesn’t love me at all. In this case, I learn what love is not, whether this is explicitly expressed or silently implied. This happens when others look away, show indifference, pretend not to see us, ignore our loving gestures, or show exasperation about them and so much more. I learn about love through pain, every time I must deal with all the uncomfortable emotions of not wanting to love someone back and whose emotions pressure me to respond. Or when I must deal and learn to handle the emotions within me, every time I am not being loved or appreciated.
Love, joy and laughter are great healers. People don’t take seriously the fact that comedies are just as or sometimes more effective, in conveying positive messages. Not only do they heal but they also empower us in our lives. The problem with love, joy and laughter is that although they are sciences, they are not taught properly and sufficiently. However, we must become adept at them, if we ever want to be happy. Unfortunately, since we don’t know enough about them, we are called to learn about them only when life forces us to.
Western culture «celebrates» pain as if it’s the only way to learn. Statements like «No pain, no gain» are in excess in our vocabulary. Life shows us clearly every day just how many people operate based on this belief. We see this in fiction, movies, songs etc. Comedies rarely get Oscars, happy-ending books rarely get acclaimed, happy songs are so few compared to the sad ones and so on. This reinforces through symbolism, that pain is king. Taking a quick look around us, we see the absolute misery in which so many fellow human beings are immersed with relentless passion. It’s almost as if they have the «misery magnet chromosome» in their DNA and strive to excel in this way of learning, at the expense of all others.
I don’t deny that pain teaches us things, but pain is not the only way to learn. We learn from pain only when we overcome it enough, to calmly look back at it, more objectively. This is clearly assisted through a GrecoDow® clearing and healing which helps to release the negative energy so we may choose to act more objectively if we want.
Some people never manage to overcome their trauma. It will remain deeply rooted in their souls and oppress them. Memories of pain swirl in their minds and keep them glued to the same miserable tape they hear on auto-repeat. Their trauma becomes their prevalent story and though it leads to a victim’s life, nevertheless they choose it and brandish it shamelessly. Of course, they willingly share this unbearable climate with every person they meet.
If we think about the cycle of influence these negative thoughts have, we will understand why this cycle repeats itself. Their negative thoughts create the corresponding negative emotions which in turn create similar vibrations. Those vibrations, which are recorded in the energy field as a «heavy» climate, attract people and situations who also share that vibration. Thus, the drama is perpetuated. A simple case of the blind leading the blind.
We also learn the lessons of life through observation. The experience of others is generously offered as a painless way to learn about needs, values, weaknesses, behaviors that strengthen us and set examples.
Watching how others love or not helps us learn about love. Life offers an incredible range of experiences so that we may learn the lessons ahead, but only if we open our hearts and eyes to all that is around us.
And when I say observe, I do not mean simply watching «what life brings on our path». I mean, to go to great lengths and ask others why they do what they do. One phrase I’ve considered key is «Please help me to understand your reasons for….». You will be amazed how people are willing to share with you their most personal motivations and feelings and help you understand their thinking.
Learning to observe ourselves and others requires quiet introspection, something largely missing from our fast-paced lives. If we learn to pay attention to our own rhythm and process, much discomfort can be avoided. Watching others and really observing them is extremely helpful since it allows us to compare their processes with ours and learn from the information so amply provided. It is not necessary to learn everything through our own experience, another very overvalued belief.
Another great way to learn is through wisdom. Reading a good book or watching a good movie about relationships or having a quality conversation with someone who overcame a similar problem or issue regarding love, we can find an unimaginable wealth of information. Drawing from our own past and assimilated experiences is also a great way to learn since it allows us to draw information from our own wisdom.
Learning through wisdom is unfortunately not very supported today. We only must look at our television shows and soap operas which serve to «promote the desired» ethics and morals of the time, even though they don’t really represent the majority. However, they end up pushing the narrative and influence people to think this is what everyone else wants or does and become accustomed to and conform to the «proposed new narrative».
The quality of the information offered is therefore very important in the learning process since it takes a great deal of time and effort to unlearn bad habits and release old beliefs. A wide variety of experiences and a spectrum of knowledge along with «good judgment» are essential to our learning process.
In order to be able to understand and evaluate something, we need to have a mechanism on which we can rely on again and again. Discernment takes time and effort to develop. At the opposite end of the spectrum is the lethargic mind which debilitates.
Television and soap operas constantly show and promote behaviors that should be avoided, because they are very profitable commercially, unfortunately. Their shows are geared toward the intelligence of a thirteen-year-old. This doesn’t provide for opportunities to practice and develop our mental and emotional abilities.
Also, magazines and novels don’t present healthy role models we can rely on. The main problem is that they project unrealistic standards for people and lifestyles.
For example, when I was 13-15 years old, I read over 300 Harlequin romances. For those who don’t know the normal script of a Harlequin romance, the rich and quick-tempered man and the poor, beautiful and pure woman meet, fall madly in love at first glance and fight by the second page of the book. They separate and years pass before they meet again. When they do, they argue about everything, reunite with fiery passion and of course marry by the end of the book and live a gifted life, in untold riches.
Naturally, my model about love was based on these books if you consider the repeated lesson these 300 novels taught me. Don’t laugh, it can happen to any of us in one way or another.
I confess that I met far too many men with great tempers whom I could never seem to do anything more than «argue and separate». I guess that’s not surprising. It took years of painstaking work to change my way of thinking and to direct myself to other models of love that included «everyday heroes». That, I admit, is still a work in progress.
In closing, I would like to say that each learning style – joy, pain, observation and wisdom – need to find a balance in our learning process. If we give this message to ourselves consciously and wholeheartedly believe in it, then we may start to attract people and situations that will help us learn the lessons of life, in ALL the ways mentioned, not just through pain.
It is unreasonable to believe that something or someone will come in our lives that will eliminate problems so that we can live happily ever after. All we can do is strengthen ourselves so that we can deal with the issues at hand with sensibility and courage, and this can only be done through the strategy of balance.
Let’s allow pain, to claim ONLY the proportion that it deserves in our learning process and not the lion’s share. There is no reason to give pain a bigger share or seek it out because pain knows how to find us. So, we don’t need to look for it. Pain after all is still a part of life and will always be there. That’s just a reality. We can choose how we want to learn. If we look at the trees by the side of the road when we drive, we will hit them. So, if we favor one way of learning over another, we will find it. Let’s choose wisely and go for balance.
Teacher & Consultant of Alternative Therapies
Founder of GrecoDow® Educational Systems